first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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