My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
BRING THE BAGELS
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
