Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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