She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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