I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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