I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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