"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
