She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
