Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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