I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
