Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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