You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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