I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
