Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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