Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
