i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
