He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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