I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
