Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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