kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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