I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
