Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
