I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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