Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
