Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
How external is "for external use only"?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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