I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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