Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
