It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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