i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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