I just made out with a guy for $7.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
