the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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