real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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