I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
