I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Randomize
