happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you win again, gameday.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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