The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
only you would photoshop your dick
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
