Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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