Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
