When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
