You work out of a Hotel?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
