So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
