I cockslap morals
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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