Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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