so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
