he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
