turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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