I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Green mimosas i think yes
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
