WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
