Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
