I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
