just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
