Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
