You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I need help removing her.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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