Already got asked if we're dating
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
