Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
